No Sleep = Feeling Cruddy

Do you ever have those nights where you can’t sleep…at all…I mean the whole night!  I know you have.  It’s like no matter what you do, your brain just wont calm down enough for you to doze off?  Well, that’s the kind of night I had last night.  It was awful.

See today was my first clinical shift at the hospital as a nursing student.  As much as I tried to tell myself that the first day would very likely be no big deal (just a bunch of paperwork and such), I was still super stressed out about it. 

My alarm was set to go off at 4:15 am.  So I popped two Advil PM around 10:30 and went to bed.  I think I eventually fell asleep for maybe 5 minutes but then my husband came to bed and woke me up.  I was a gone-er from there on out.  12:00, then 1:00, then 2:00, still awake.  It’s at this point when you start calculating just how little sleep you will have gotten if you fall asleep…”now.”  But then another 30 minutes goes by and you check the clock again and recalculate.  I finally just got up and moved to the couch.  I checked e-mail and twitter and tried to get my mind off clinicals.  I think I eventually fell asleep around 3:00-ish. 

Needless to say, I was a zombie today.  Thankfully God answered my prayers and my clinical instructor (who I love so far), let us go home around 1:00 since it was basically just an orientation day. 

I am going to try and muster up the strength to go to step aerobics at 7:30 tonight and then I will come home, crash and (please God) sleep well all night!  Tomorrow will be a 12 hour day with the patients and I really need to get some good sleep! 

Lisa, I’m sorry I stopped charting!!  But don’t worry, I never planned to stop completely.  I just really really needed a break.  I figured one month off wouldn’t hurt too much.  As much as I want to give my doctor as much information as possible, I also need to keep my sanity too!  I just had too much on my plate.  But I will definitely start right back to charting again this month.  In fact, yesterday was CD1 so I am already back on the wagon!  I don’t think you should be in too much trouble…ha ha!

(oh, and by the way, I still haven’t heard about my blood work results yet)

Ok, I have to work on a paper that is due Thursday.  I hope you are all having a great week!

Blogging Slacker

Hey There!  I know I’ve been a big slacker when it comes to blogging but considering the amount of work I’ve been dealing with, I haven’t really had a choice in the matter.  The last couple weeks have been CRAZY!  But I am nearing the end of the first chunk of my schooling, so I will have a small, brief, respite from it (I think anyway) after Friday!

So after Friday, I will have completed a couple classes and will just have 1 more to complete before the end of the semester.  This class is a lot of work though because we have clinicals (shifts at the hospital) that go along with it.  I will have two 12-hour shifts at the hospital per week.  Then I’ll also have 6 hours of class per week.  The good thing though, is that I will only ever have 1 exam at a time, every few weeks.

The past 8 weeks, the exams, homework assignments, and projects have all been piled on and sometimes overlapping each other.  That makes it way harder to do well.  Your time is always divided.  I’m much better when I only have 1 class to think about at a time.  So I think the second half of this semester will be a lot better than the first half!

The other really awesome thing about these next 8 weeks, are that my clinical group (8 of us) got assigned to the Intensive Coronary Care Unit.  All the other groups are assigned to normal med-surg units.  So basically I am super excited about that!  We are going to be able to see/learn a LOT!  I can’t wait!  This will also give me a glimpse into Critical Care to see if it’s something I want to pursue after college (which I have always thought I might).

On the TTC front, there is pretty much nothing going on.  After I finished my bloodwork for my last cycle, I got all the blood shipped off to Omaha and decided I needed a break from charting.  I wont find out the results for a few more weeks so I figured what’s the point of charting.

I do think we did it at least once during my fertile time, but I don’t know exactly when I ovulated so I’m not sure.  It’s crazy, this is the first time in FOREVER that I don’t know when my period is coming.  I think I may be close to survival week but I really have no clue.  The past few weeks have been a blur so I can’t remember how long ago my fertile time even was…ha ha!  It’s actually been sorta nice!

I will definitely post when I hear some results from the bloodwork.  I will also let you know if I pass by big, huge exam this coming Friday.  It covers everything I’ve learned so far from ALL my classes.  It is basically a prep exam for a portion of the NCLEX.  I have to score above the 60th percentile (in the nation) to pass and continue on.  The nice thing is that I can take it more than once if I don’t pass the first time.  So it sorta takes the pressure off…whew!  The only big negative of not passing the first time is we have to pay something like $100 every time we take one.  So it would kinda stink to have to pay that twice.

Ok, I need to study!  Hope you all are doing well! I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping up with your blogs!  My google reader is on MAJOR overload!

(BTW, sorry for any errors, I don’t really have time to go back and proof-read!)

Random (indicating a complete lack of creativity)

Thanks everyone for your comments on my last post.  Yes, I actually did really enjoy the dream while it lasted.  When I think about the fact that dreams may very well be my only chance to experience that feeling, I try to enjoy them when they come.  It’s just hard getting back to reality once it’s over.  But really, I was fine after.  Just those first few minutes were a tad disorienting, ya know!

I guess it is quite possible that the pregnancy in my dream was due to my new adventure in nursing school.  It is really tough and a TON of work  (way more than I really thought it would be), but I am learning a ton and really enjoying it.  I am starting to get nervous about starting clinicals (the second week in July) but I keep reminding myself how scared I was to start clinicals in my PCT training in January.  It was only scary the first time doing something, after that, you just sort of get into the swing of things!  I am sure this will be the same!

Despite being crazy busy, I am still managing to keep up with my working out and yoga practice.  I can’t believe how much I actually even miss it those couple times when I haven’t been able to do it as much as I wanted to.  Tomorrow will be fun because I have step aerobics in the morning followed by vinyasa yoga right after.  Yay!  I am looking forward to it!

After that, it’s back to work for me.  I have an exam on Monday, Tuesday and Friday plus a big assignment due on Tuesday.   Only a few more weeks until this big initial push is over though.  Once clinicals start, the exams will be much less frequent (Thank you Lord!).

Ok, off to be for me!  I have stayed up late the last few nights so if I don’t get to bed early,  I wont make it up early!

Sorry I have been so bad about commenting lately.  Sadly, you blog friends are not the only friends/family I have been neglecting lately.    I hate that, but it’s only temporary and it is what I have to do to survive at the moment!  I have been keeping up reading for the most part.  I just keep waiting for some exciting news to pop up!  I think we are due for something soon!  I will keep praying for you all!

Slapped in the Face with Reality

So this morning I had the best dream.  It was so incredibly realistic.  I dreamed that I was pregnant. 

I wasn’t showing yet, but it was like I had known about it for a few weeks.  The dream was just M and I hanging out on the couch talking about it.  We were both so giddily happy.  Happiness and contentment was just oozing out of us.  I was in awe that I had our child growing in my belly.  I remember saying to M that even if something bad ended up happening (miscarriage) that at least I knew it was possible for me to get pregnant because up until then, I was starting to think it wasn’t even possible. 

And then I woke up…