Nervous? Scared? No, Terrified!

Yup, I’m terrified!  I start clinicals this afternoon for my Patient Care Technician (PCT) training.  Holy – Crap!

Ok, so maybe today wont be so bad since we have to do some initial organizational type stuff like getting our badges and being shown around the unit we will be working on.  I’m not sure if we’ll actually get to an patient care activities…but it’s possible!  Hence, why I’m terrified!

Here’s some of the things I may have to do the next few weeks:

1.  Change Linens of an empty bed - no problems here!

2.  Change Linens of an occupied bed – a little tougher, but still pretty easy. 

3.  Feed someone – a little uncomfortable maybe, but not too bad.

4.  Take vitals – Shouldn’t be too hard…oh crap, I forgot my watch…I need a second hand!  Guess I’ll be making a stop at the drugstore on my way to buy a cheapie…sigh!

5.  Provide a bed bath – ok, this is getting scary folks!

6.  Clean someone up who’s had an accident meaning up close and personal with ALL nooks and crannies! – really really scary!

7.  Inserting a catheter – this is downright terrifying.  Not only am I up close and personal with nooks and crannies, I will have a very good chance of inflicting pain on someone I’m supposed to be trying to help feel better….argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, now that I’ve thoroughly freaked myself out! 

You have to understand, I am not normally a touchy-feely person.  I have worked for the last 10-12 years in a professional/hands-off atmosphere.  No one in this profession touches each other…well, except for a handshake or two.  But seriously, I am not used to touching strangers at all, let alone being up close and personal with their nooks and crannies !   

In the first three weeks of our training, we had to practice a few things on our classmates.  Obviously, we never did everything full out, we just simulated the steps that we would normally follow.  This required rolling “patients” over in their beds which required touching. We practiced range of motion exercises which required touching.  Even though it was just for practice and everyone was fully clothed, it was still kinda weird. 

I know I will get used to the touching thing quickly but these first couple days are still going to be terrifying!  I’m not grossed out by the thought or anything, it’s just not what I’m used to.  I know I have to just keep in mind that these patients are not just patients, they are people, with feelings, who are sick, and who want to get better.  Everything I do, even if it’s uncomfortable for me (and probably for them too), is important to help them do that as quickly as possible.  Maybe if I keep that mindset, it wont be quite so scary!

Another good thing that I like to think about, is how happy I am to be getting this initial scary part out of the way now, when I don’t have a grade on the line.  Once I start clinicals in nursing school, I will be under a lot more pressure to get high marks on my evaluations.  If I score poorly then, it will affect my GPA!  

So getting going on this now is truly a blessing!  Heck, by the time I officially start school, I will be a pro at this basic stuff…

Ok, maybe I wont be a pro yet, but at least I wont be terrified!!!