Encouraged

So this week has been going pretty well I guess.  My attitude has been better and to be honest, I haven’t thought about being in the TWW…well, at least not as much as I normally do.  Nothing new to report though, including symptoms.  I’m sure this cycle will be like all the rest.

But I did have several things happen this week that left me encouraged.  One was actually a conversation I had with two of my classmates.  I know I’ve mentioned that I’m taking Organic Chemistry this semester.  Well, along with the class is a lab.  We have lab partners and in my case, I have two partners since we had an odd number. 

The first day of lab, I met my two partners, both named Kim actually.  Kim #1 and I were chatting about why we were in nursing school.  She happened to mention that she was 4 months pregnant.  I was a bit surprised because she didn’t look pregnant at all.  And I was like geesh, of all people to be lab partners with!!!  But she actually turned out to be very nice.  Not an annoying pregnant woman at all.  She never even talks about it so many times I ask her about it. 

Anyway, back to my story, so I casually mentioned that part of my reason for pursuing a more rewarding career was because our plans to have kids, “was not happening.”  She was very nice about it and amazingly didn’t say anything that rubbed me the wrong way and hasn’t since.  It’s a friggin miracle.  In fact, I really like the girl, go figure!

So this week in lab, I had a chance to talk to Kim #2 (the non-pregnant one).  She mentioned something about how her and her husband at one point thought they couldn’t have kids.  Apparently she miscarried several times and they gave up.  She did eventually get pregnant a few months after they gave up.  She even tried Clomid without success before they gave up.  She now has 2 kids. 

So then Kim #2 pipes up and say she was on Clomid for 5 months and never got pregnant.  She got pregnant two months after that, completely med free. 

I don’t know why, but this encouraged me.  It made me realize that despite my failures on Clomid, given enough time, I might someday conceive.  I’m certainly not pinning all my hopes on it, since I know for every story like these, there are many more stories of unexplained infertility that do not end so well. 

But still, it made me realize that it is possible to give up and move on with your life and still end up pregnant someday.  Even if someday is 2-10 years from now.  The whole conversation, instead of annoying me like usual, actually left me feeling somewhat encouraged.

Onto a different encouraging topic…I finally spoke with someone at the local adoption agency I was recommended to.  They are sending me an informational packet in the mail.  They said to call once we’d received it and gone over it.  I asked her if she knew approximately how much it cost for domestic infant adoption, just so I’d have a general idea.  She stated that it costs around $11,000.  Does this sound right?  It’s actually much lower than I expected.  I had always heard it was more like $20,000 – $30,000…hence why I was worried we couldn’t afford it.  But heck, $11,000 is definitely do-able for us.  Especially since the company I work for provides $5000 in adoption assistance.  Cool eh?  This was definitely encouraging.

I guess I do not want to get my hopes up too much though.  Maybe she didn’t fully understand the question.  I will know more once I get the packet. 

I also asked her about how long people usually wait for a child.  I told her I knew it could be up to 2+ years.  She said that 2 years is usually what they tell people but many times it is faster than that…she said you never know what God has planned.  Obviously this is a Christian agency.

Anyway, if that $11,000 is about right, then I am thinking M and I might actually start the process sooner than we thought.  I am excited at this possibility.  It would just be nice to focus on another path to parenthood since we feel our current path is coming to an end.  I also think it might take the pressure off which would be nice considering how stressful the last two years have been. 

Now what I’m NOT saying is that I think I will get pregnant just because we start the adoption process.  That is not my reason for starting this.  I know deep down in my heart that it wont matter if I get a child through adoption or my own body.  At this point, I am excited at the thought of any child, as long as they are mine and I get to keep them.  But of course if I did end up pregnant I’d be thrilled…obviously.  But my goal at this point is a child, not just a pregnancy.  So whatever way that child comes by, I will know God had that exact plan in mind for me.   

(By the way, I’m testing Saturday but don’t get your hopes up.  I’m definitely not!   But it is nice to have some encouraging things to build me up before the potential disappointment this weekend!)