Potential Adoption Situation – Updated
Hello Everyone!
I recently received this info from a friend about a newborn available for adoption in California:
“I have received a request from an adoption agency working with a couple who had a baby born 5-16, Monday, at 37+ weeks of gestation in Southern California. He is 6 lbs, 9 oz and his Apgars are 7 & 8. He was diagnosed before birth with a hole in his heart. He is currently in NICU and the doctors are still assessing his heart. The couple have two other children, they are not married, they live in California and seek an adoptive couple in California as they want an open adoption.”
This is all I know. I don’t know how serious this heart condition is. However, I do know that some holes in the heart (VSD or ASD) can be fixed and the child can go on to live a normal life. If anyone is interested in this, please contact me and I will pass along the contact person’s information.
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UPDATED: I found out through several people who followed up on this situation that the little boy has Down’s syndrome and several other medical conditions besides just the hole in his heart. If you wanted to follow up on this, please make sure you ask questions about this up front before getting too far. I’m not sure why ALL of this wasn’t disclosed up front since the heart condition WAS mentioned. Maybe it wasn’t confirmed yet as of the sending of the original e-mail, who knows? But I did want to at least share the additional information others had found out in this post (this is also mentioned in the comments below).
Just had to share
So I know this is probably a lame first post back after being MIA for so long. But I only have a minute and I just wanted to share about a pretty great deal I have discovered. And maybe all of you already know about this but I discovered it by chance so I figured, it’d be a nice thing to share.
I LOVE THIS! You sign up (it’s free) and you get 3 months of “Amazon Prime Membership” which equals Free 2-day shipping on everything Amazon Prime related which is 80% of stuff on Amazon.
Once you sign up, for every $25 you spend on Baby stuff in a single order, you get another month free (up to 12 months max).
I have purchased Ella’s formula from them because it’s the same price as anyplace else I’ve found, plus it’s delivered to my house in 2 days. SOOOO convenient.
I think I made it to 12 months of Free 2-day shipping in a month or two because of Ella’s formula and other stuff I purchased from them.
Lastly, you can purchase some stuff (diapers and wipes for example) using their “subscribe and save.” This saves you 30% off those items. Since I’ve had to use disposables for a time, I used it to buy diapers. I get a 222 count box of pampers for $29.95 and it is delivered to my house. Do you know how big that box is? Just the convenience of NOT having to cart it home from the store makes it worth it. Not to mention saving 30%.
I also recently found Ella’s formula (a 6-pack of cans) was eligible for subscribe and save. I ended up saving $20 on that too.
The other nice thing about subscribe and save is that you can sign up and then cancel after only one order. You can order an additional shipment at any time (if you run out before your next scheduled shipment) and you can change the frequency of deliveries at any time. I just put my orders at shipping every 3 months and I know I can always order an extra shipment early when I need it.
I am back to using cloth diapers during the day so I don’t need the diapers often. But they are nice to have (and cheap) for when Ella gets a rash.
I have also ordered some to donate to our local pregnancy center because it is such a good deal and I know they need them.
BTW, the subscribe and save also applies to some Non-mom stuff too like paper towels, toilet paper and other household stuff that you need to buy regularly.
Maybe this will help others save a few bucks and also offer some convenience!
P.S. I have not been asked to “plug” Ama.zon Mom by anyone at Amaz.on, nor am I receiving any reimbursement of any kind from them (I wish, LOL). Just wanted to share.
Fear
So I heard about the blog who lost their baby girl to SIDS recently. I went there and reading their story really broke my heart. I cannot imagine the pain of that loss. Especially since Ella is just about the same age as that precious girl.
It made me afraid. Afraid to go through what this poor family is going through. As I held Ella that night during her night feeding, I cried for that family and I prayed that God would somehow show them what different plan He had in store for them. I also prayed that God would keep Ella safe but that if something as terrible as that happened to us, that God would show me the reason. God allowed us to wait a long time for Ella. He has a really special plan for her life no matter how long or short it is. I hope it’s long…VERY long. Much longer than mine. But I also know that Ella is not mine, she is God’s and He is the one who determines our every breath, even hers.
I know it’s easy for me to say that, given that my sweet girl is still here. But in that moment in the dark, I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I told God that I knew Ella was His and that I trusted Him with her life. It hurt me to pray that and I cried even more afterwards, but I did mean it. Not that my saying it makes it any more or less true. She is God’s child no matter if I accept it or not. But I wanted God to know that the trust I had in Him when we were waiting is still there. It’s in a different form now, trusting Him with my daughter’s life and well being, but it’s there none-the-less. I didn’t give up my deep trust in Him just because He finally answered our prayers and I could breathe easy now. In fact, I have to trust Him even more because now there is a little person here who is more precious to me than I could ever imagine.
I guess this thought might seem obvious to most but it is what has been on my heart for the last week or so and I just thought I’d share it.
So…even though I have to let go of the fear and trust God to protect Ella (or my heart if he chose to take her early), I also still think it’s right to do the most I can to prevent that tragedy from happening (though I know it’s not always preventable, no matter what you do). So I saw a comment on this family’s blog that mentioned something called a Snu.za. It is a small little device that clips to your baby’s diaper that senses the movement of their tummies when they breath. It alarms if it does not sense movement for a certain length of time (20 seconds is the default setting but you can change it to something shorter). This alarm is something you can hear over an audio or video monitor since it does not come with it’s own separate monitor. I ordered one from Ama.zon that very night.
Last night was the first whole night I used it (I had been working the previous 3 nights) and it actually went off once (thankfully before we had gone to bed so we did not completely freak out). We rushed up to her room, silenced the alarm, made sure she was still breathing and readjusted it to make sure it was on her right. She didn’t even wake up with the alarm. She just went right on sleeping. It was quiet the rest of the night. I think we will have to get used to putting it on properly but it definitely put my mind at ease knowing it was on her. I figured that even if it gives me a false alarm here and there it is worth it and will help me sleep better.
Anyway, I just wanted to share this info because I think it is a pretty cool device and may give some others peace of mind as well. I had never heard of it before so I figured maybe some of you hadn’t either.
Can’t sleep so I’ll post about sleep
Yes, I can’t sleep. I think I had caffeine a little too late in the day. Not smart.
So while I wait for Ella to wake up (she is stirring a bit) I figured I’d try and squeeze in a post on sleep. Sorry for another baby related post. :( I just have learned so much the past few months that I NEVER knew about infants. I’m just amazed that I was in the dark about this. I really thought I knew a lot about taking care of a baby but I really ended up knowing nothing about sleep and schedules and such.
So the first 6 weeks of Ella’s life she slept a LOT and was so easy! I mean, besides the basic sleep deprivation from waking up every 3 hours to eat, she was an angel. She would always fall right back to sleep and didn’t cry much except when she woke to tell us she was hungry. She wasn’t really on much of a schedule at all. She just fell asleep here and there and we let her.
Then after about 6 weeks, that all went to heck. She started staying awake longer and longer. She also started to get crankier and crankier. I remember the first night she was extremely fussy. She was like that the entire evening, from about 6pm until about 11-12-ish. I was hoping it was just a fluke. But it didn’t stop. We started giving her Colic Calm because we thought maybe she was just having bad gas. She was pretty gassy, i.e. she definitely passed gas a lot. So we figured when she was crying was when she couldn’t release it and it was hurting her.
After a few weeks of this, and the introduction of the first bad diaper rash and around the clock pooping, we figured out that she had a protein allergy. So we made the switch and it seemed to help…a little. Also sometime around there we started instituting a little bit of a Sleep-Eat-Play schedule. We would let her sleep, then feed her when she woke, then play a little while (and hour or so) and then put her back to sleep. Well, it was hard being consistent. Sometimes we had a hard time keeping her awake even to finish eating. Then once we got her awake awake, she never wanted to go back to sleep. THEN, once 6pm hit and she was wide awake, she’d be fussy ALL evening until she finally crashed around 11 or 12 at night. During those 6 hours, we’d try rocking her and soothing her and everything we could to get her to sleep earlier but she would not sleep and would instead scream in our arms. Let me tell you, that was an extremely frustrating time. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I would lay my baby down and she’d cry. So I’d pick her up and she’d actually cry HARDER. There were nights she cried harder in my arms than when I left her in the crib. Consequently, I cried too…a lot! I just felt like I wasn’t even a comfort to Ella. She just seemed miserable and I felt like we were failing her (the recurring horrible diaper rash did not help).
Anyway, about 2 weeks ago, I saw THIS post by Wheelbarrow Rider (WR) and started really thinking that maybe we weren’t reading Ella’s clues well enough. We were waiting too long (till she got fussy) to lay her down. WR stated that she would put down her son at the first fuss or signs of sleepiness (yawning, etc). I was definitely not doing that. So we started trying it. It was hard because sometimes I felt like we laid her down too early because she was so happy and would lay there awake for awhile. But then…miraculously, she’d fall alseep (on her own), without much crying at all (just a little fuss here and there but no wailing or sobbing by any means).
So then I ordered a couple sleep books. I knew I needed more help…more details to really get this figured out because it was starting to work and I had a lot of questions. The one I liked the best was “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” It took me awhile to realize I needed to skip over the mounds of unnecessary statistics he gives in the early chapters (I believe you, I don’t need a zillion stats that I can’t even keep straight the way he stated them). I got right to the chapters on birth to 4 months. It was a real eye opener. It answered many of my questions and also made me feel a LOT better about how I was doing as a mother. There are lots of testimonials in the book and some sounded like I could have written them myself.
I realized that babies under 3-4 months old should never be awake longer than 2 hours and some babies can’t really even handle being awake longer than 1 hour. Ella actually tends towards 1 hour. I started putting her to bed as soon as she look drowsy. According to the book, drowsy signals are not necessarily just drooping eyelids. Maybe just a yawn or maybe just a calm, quiet stare here and there (when she is not drowsy her legs and arm are going a mile a minute!). But the key is, to start the soothing/nap routine at the first sign. The author recommends a short time of soothing (whatever you want) and then lay them down drowsy but awake. If you time it right, there is very little fussing. If you wait too long, then they get overtired and resist sleep instead of going with it.
We started doing this with Ella and at first I felt bad. I felt like I was constantly putting her to sleep (like I didn’t want to be around her, even though I DID). But lo and behold, she was sleeping…a LOT! And as a result, she started sleeping more at night and…gasp, in the evenings. She started going to bed a little earlier every night. She was happier when she was awake and rarely fussed. I think she was so fussy because she was just exhausted!
So now, after 2 weeks, I feel like I have a different baby here! She is AWESOME! My husband had her by himself all weekend because I had to work and she was just a little angel. She goes to sleep without barely a peep. Of course sometimes she does fuss a little for maybe a few minutes, 5 to 10 minutes max but 90% of the time it’s 2 minutes or less and most times she is quiet before I get the door shut. If she all out CRIES (even after 30 seconds), which is extremely rare now, then we get her and soothe her until she’s drowsy again and try laying her down again. But since we’ve been so good about reading her and knowing when she’s ready for sleep, she barely ever cries when we lay her down. She’s been going to bed around 6:30-7:30 and sleeping until 1 or 2 am. Then she lays back down without a peep until 5 or 6. Then she usually sleeps until about 8 or 9 am. Not too bad for me. If I went to bed for the night when she went to bed, I’d be getting tons of sleep! Of course, here I am, it’s 1:15 and I’m awake and she’s about to wake up to eat. (Might as well stay up until she eats now.)
It’s only been 2-ish weeks and already I’m getting anal about her naps. I see how happy she is when she stays on track and I can tell if she didn’t get enough sleep (I run errands with her). It’s making me want to never let her leave the house so she always gets her naps. We know we can’t always do that, but I’m trying as much as possible. It will be interesting when my mom and M’s mom start watching her here and there when I work during the week (the first time will be Wednesday). I know they will be good about her naps but I’m hoping she can sleep just as well somewhere else besides at home in her crib.
Oh shoot, she is really stirring now. I have to run. I didn’t have a chance to proofread so hopefully this is coherent. I may have more to add later.
Thanks Wheelbarrow Rider for posting that info, that info, along with info from several people who commented on it, really helped. I was close with the Sleep-Eat-Play schedule but I was waiting WAY too long to lay her down…especially at night.
Thank you!
First of all, I apologize for the baby related nature of the last few posts (and this one following). I just have been out of my mind with frustration with Ella’s rash and I just need to vent and get some help and I knew I could count on my blog friends to help me out!
So secondly, I wanted to thank you all for your helpful comments on my last post (and even some on Facebook!). There were actually some things we hadn’t tried yet (I couldn’t believe it!).
What we ended up doing was a few things and it really seems to be working (Thank you Lord!).
1) We bought some bigger sized disposable diapers (Pampers Baby Dry (not “Dry Max”* since those have been known to cause rashes) size 3) so that they would be very absorbent and also be big enough to not be in constant contact with her skin when wet.
2) We still are using our homemade butt paste that seems to be working well.
Our “recipe” includes: Desitin, A&D ointment, Lanolin, Calmoseptine and plain cornstarch (added until it gets very paste-y)
3) We have stopped wiping/cleaning at all if she has a wet only diaper. We just dust her with a little cornstarch and then reapply gobs of paste and a new diaper (we also pull down on the crotch of the diaper to give her more air/room).
4) When she does have a BM, we wash gently (usually with our hand) with warm water and Cetaphil, rinse, pat dry, and then gently blow dry on a low setting before a new dusting of corn starch and reapplying more gobs of paste.
It seems to be working. The redness has really diminished (and disappeared in some areas, not as much in others). I have some Acid Mantle on order that was suggested at Dr. Sears website. I will probably try that at some point down the road to restore the pH of her skin. It is obviously very out of wack. I am also considering seeing a pediatric dermatologist to see if there is something more/different that we could be doing. We will see how long this lasts and if we can ever get to a point of NO rash.
I do have some Lotrimin on hand that I was going to try before this started working. It’s just that our doctor seemed to think it was not a yeast based rash last time when we took her in. This rash looked exactly the same as the other one. But if it continues, we may add that to the Butt Paste recipe. I just know that if it’s bacterial, Lotrimin could make it worse. If it’s yeast, antibiotic creams could make it worse. I find it interesting that one of you actually used both at the same time, this is not something I thought of and could potentially try.
So really, thank you! I hope we can go back to cloth again soon. I really like using them and just hope this isn’t related to cloth at all. I have read that some people use disposables at night only and cloth during the day. We will see what works. I’m just waiting for the day when she has NO diaper rash at all and I can start using cloth diaper friendly creams (to prevent another occurance) so we don’t have to use a liner anymore. I feel like the liners weren’t helping things this time around because it kept the moisture and heat too close to her bottom (even though I used fleece liners and they stayed pretty dry to the touch…who knows).
Anyway, sorry I didn’t post my thanks earlier. I had to work Friday and Saturday night and am just now getting some time to write.
My first nights back at work went pretty well and even though I missed Ella a lot, it was really ok. I struggled the most with being tired and I STILL don’t feel like I’ve caught up.
BTW, I want to do a post on Ella sleeping soon. We have managed a MAJOR turnaround in Ella’s overall mood and it was pretty much entirely a result of changing her sleep schedule and I thought I’d share.
* About the Baby Dry vs. Dry Max Pampers: http://community.babycenter.com/post/a24242039/baby_dry_vs_dry_max_-_pampers
My child’s behind
is literally driving me insane and often to the point of tears…
Just when the last little open sore she had on her bottom had almost healed…her whole behind breaks out in another awful rash that is well on its way to being MORE open sores.
The worst part, I wasn’t doing ANYTHING differently. The only difference is that she has been sleeping longer at night. 5-6 hour stretches instead of 3-4 hours stretches. Seriously? So my last 2 days off from work have been spent listening to her wail (and feeling like the WORST mother ever) every time I come near her butt with anything. And when she is awake, letting her lay with no diaper so she can air out (i.e. I haven’t even been able to barely hold or snuggle her as much as I wanted to).
I know I shouldn’t complain but I have never heard anyone else struggle so much with diaper rash as I have with Ella. We have seriously tried everything…and I mean everything. Cloth vs disposable. Cloth with liners (so I can gob on any one of 20 different ointments I’ve bought/made to deal with this rash). Cloth with fleece liners that stay dry. Excessive use of cornstarch in various capacities. Disposable diapers about 3 sizes too large to keep the wet parts from touching her behind. Laying her down for naps with no diaper at all. Taking her to the doctor who said “you’re doing everything right, there’s nothing more I can tell you/do for you.”
And honestly, once her bottom starts getting red, there is no reversing it early. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’m just mad that the last few weeks, the redness at least was completely gone. I was just waiting for the open sores (from the last rash) to heal completely. But the skin all around the sores was fine and not red at all. Now she’s actually doing what I want her to do (sleep longer) and she’s back to a beet red butt.
I want to seriously pull my hair out but instead I usually just end up crying. And now I get to work two 12-hour night shifts in a row…sniff.
Suggestions are always welcome but I will give a prize for anyone who suggests something I haven’t already tried.
(I think I’ve spent more money on fixing her diaper rash than on the crazy expensive FORMULA she is on right now! Ridiculous!)
It’s My Birthday
Yup, it’s today. I find it somewhat sad that my birthday is also the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Kinda stinks…
Besides that, I am really having a great day. My parents watched Ella for us last night. Especially since on Thursday I was feeling VERY overwhelmed by her horrid diaper rash. I practically had a breakdown and just felt like the worst mother in the world. My mom knew an overnight break was just what I needed. I shouldn’t complain because I have been getting lots of help from my family this week. My mother-in-law helped me a ton too. But I just got to my wits end with the diaper rash.
I’ve been battling it for WEEKS and even took her to the doctor. The rash on most of her bottom is gone, but there are literally open raw wounds/lesions on her behind that are from when the rash was at it’s worst and they just look AWFUL. Thankfully I think I have finally discovered the magic concoction to help clear it up. But each diaper change is sooooo involved. It’s like I’m doing a major surgical procedure every time with about 20 steps. It’s mainly because she’s just pooping all the time. A little bit here, a little bit there. I cannot change her diaper every 15 minutes and that’s what I felt like I was doing. And then there were the times when I would just get done changing her and whoops….she went again. I was just exhaustipated. Especially since I didn’t feel like all that work was producing any results!
Sorry, I didn’t mean to go off on the diaper rash but her butt has been in the forefront of my mind for WEEKS (I never thought I’d think about my kid’s butt so much). I had to at least give it a little bloggy-time.
Back to my birthday…it’s amazing what 9 hours of sleep can do for you. I feel like a new woman. Ella’s bottom is just now starting to heal a little and I’m thrilled for at least a little progress (oh wait, no more diaper rash talk). I also had a nice breakfast with my hubby and Ella at a local diner. It was perfect and Ella was a little angel! She’s actually been a sleepy little angel all day! I swear, this child sleeps a ton, well at least during the day. I have the hardest time keeping her awake for a little while during the day. When she’s tired, there’s NO waking her.
But I’m not complaining. Even after sleeping tons yesterday, she still slept great for my mom and dad all night. I’m hoping she does the same for us tonight. That would be a great birthday present for me honey…hint hint.
I just know that every year on my birthday for the last 4 birthdays (possibly 5, without my hubby’s knowledge, ha ha), I’ve wished for a child. And I never thought we’d have a child by even this birthday! I feel so blessed. I don’t even know what I’m going to wish for this year.
Actually, I do know. I’m still going to wish for a baby, just not for me. But for all my sweet friends who are still waiting. Love you guys and I never stop praying for you!
Finally!
Ok, this post is totally unrelated to kids or IF. I hope that’s ok…LOL!
I am so stinking excited that the iPhone is finally coming to Verizon! Yay! I DESPISE my current phone. Well, I totally despise it as a phone. (BTW, it is a Droid Eris by HTC…it STINKS) For a web surfing/e-mail checking device it’s fine. But try and make/receive a call on it and it works properly about 1% of the time. It is sooooooooooo annoying. I openly and loudly complain about my phone every.single.day at least 10 times. I can’t tell you how close I have been to chucking it out numerous windows or onto the ground and stomping it into oblivion, very very close! I think my friends and family are probably sick of hearing me complain!
Sooooo, for Christmas and my birthday (coming up) my husband said I could get an iPhone. In December I had heard rumors it was coming to Verizon in January so I risked no Christmas gift to wait for it! I just got the e-mail announcing it a day or so ago and I can promise you I will be the first in line for it!
I love apple products. And since I already have an iPod touch, I wont have to work too hard figuring out how to use it. Yay! I can’t wait. I hope this brings an end to my complaining!
Sorry! Now back to your regularly scheduled programming!
MIA
Yup, that’s me lately. Definitely MIA. Obviously I have a good excuse but I really never meant to be gone so long. When I get a spare minute (i.e. when Ella is sleeping or playing happily on the floor, etc) I have about a million other things that I have to do. Hence blog posting writing is pretty far down on the priority list.
But at the same time, I just wanted to share a few of my thoughts. Especially in regards to becoming a mother through adoption, after infertility.
I know everyone has their own way of dealing with infertility, and obviously everyone feels differently about how they feel after adopting. So I thought I’d share what I’ve been feeling as of late.
Pretty much since the day Ella was born (and honestly, even before) I have been so crazy in love with her. I just had this really strong feeling that she was meant to be ours, forever. And even before she was born, I got choked up practically every time I even talked about her. I just knew she was something special!
Well, ever since she was born, I can honestly say that I was, and am, 99.9999% over my infertility. For some reason, I don’t still mourn a pregnancy or even think about treatments/medications for achieving pregnancy in the future. I am HAPPY and totally content with this little girl. In fact, I almost felt even more happy that we were able to adopt and I didn’t have to go through everything that comes with being pregnant.
Don’t get me wrong, adopting was still hard. There were many days of uncertainty and LOTS of waiting. It could have turned out very differently and our hearts would have been utterly and completely broken. I do recognize that. And yet, by the mercy of God, He spared us that pain! So for us, it was easy. We get to keep her and be her forever family. But overall, I just felt so at peace with her and how she came to be in our family that I just realized that this is what was meant for us. Not a pregnancy and I am 100% ok with that.
I no longer even wish for a pregnancy. This boggles my mind!
I realize my feelings on this could potentially change down the road since I love the idea of Ella having a sibling eventually. But right now I am feeling ok with just having her. I love her so much and I am so happy with our little family of three. I think I could be happy with just us forever. Obviously we are always open to a pregnancy but it is all in God’s hands now. We certainly wont be bending over backward to achieve one. Hence why I haven’t charted since I met Ella’s birthmom and have not contacted PPVI for a cycle review since then also. I am no longer taking T3 and am just now finishing up the last of my Synthroid. (I may try to get more of that since it really helped me no feel so freezing cold all the time, but not because I think it will help me get pregnant)
They say adoption is not a cure for infertility, but for me, I sorta think it was. I thank God for that because I know that only He can give that kind of healing.
So that’s just a few of my thoughts. I have LOTS more rumbling in my head but figured I’d start out small. I’m sorry if this wasn’t eloquently written, I really didn’t have time to really rehearse and/or edit my words. I just sorta wrote what came out of my head.
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Ours was great, obviously, after many years of being sad. I did have so many of you still waiting in my heart though. I remember very well how I felt all those holidays when I was still waiting. It was not fun. Big hugs to all of you and many prayers sent your way from me!
Protected: Thanks and Thanksgiving!
Protected: Open Adoption Question
Protected: New Blog
Protected: Welcome to the World Little One!
A Little Scary
Just checked on the news in the U.S. and found this:
U.S. Issues Europe Travel Alert as Intel Shows Terror Plot Targeting Paris, Berlin Landmarks
Scary! I am glad we are not in Berlin! Though we did almost go to Paris yesterday but decided it was just too far for a one day trip.
Hopefully the military/police can prevent this from happening altogether!
Hello From Germany
Yes, that is right, I am in Germany! In Wiesbaden to be exact. It is amazing here! I love how old everything is here. The way the streets are laid out. You can tell it has been like this for hundreds of years!
I am here on vacation while Mike is here working. It’s a pretty great deal for me! His hotel is paid for by his company and I get to stay for free! The only downside is that he has to work so I have to do much of my sightseeing by myself. But it hasn’t been so bad. The worst part is eating alone. I hate sitting in a restaurant by myself. But I have a book so hopefully I can keep from looking too pathetic…ha ha!
I also had a bit of a rough day driving last Friday. Driving in the towns here is awful. I feel like I can’t find anything and there is no logical sense of which streets go where and what direction you are headed. Once I get to the Autobahn (if I’m lucky enough to find it), I am fine. I also love being able to go really fast in the areas where there is no speed limit. The fastest I ever went (and that was only for about 60 seconds) was 180 km/hr…believe me…that is FAST! What is crazy though is that even when driving at a more normal (relatively) speed of 150-160 km/hr, you still get people who FLY by you in the left lane…like you are standing still. They must be going at least 200 km/hr!
I don’t have my cable for my camera so no pictures for now, but I will definitely add some next week when I get back!
Anyway, I am off to explore again for the day! Just wanted to pop in and say Good Day! Guten Tag!
New Life
So I got to see the baby today. On the ultrasound monitor that is. The PBM had said she would like it if we could start to be involved in some of the appointments and such. So today was the first, and it was truly amazing!
I got to see her little hands and feet and her cute little face. She even started opening and closing her mouth while they were showing her face. Sorta like a sleeping baby does when you pull a bottle or pacifier out of their mouths. It was so sweet! For now she is measuring quite small so I officially dub her “peanut.” We are just hoping and praying she continues to grow over these next 10 weeks!
And yes, it is a girl! :)
Everything is looking good right now so I can’t help but have a little bit of hope in my heart. Of course I always know I must be prepared for another possible disappointment but for now I am just trusting that God will help us through no matter how it turns out.
Thanks for all your prayers!
Another Potential
So we have another potential adoption situation that is maybe, kinda, sorta unfolding. If you wouldn’t mind keeping all of us (including the young woman and baby) in your prayers, it would be greatly appreciated. The due date is not until December and there are some potential concerns about the health of the baby and other various aspects of the adoption process so there is still a lot of thinking, decisions and doctor’s appointments to come that will take time. But all I can do at this point is hope and pray! God knows what is going to happen and that is all that matters.
10…no, 9 Surprising Things
Ok, I don’t normally do these but I did get tagged by A Complicated Life! And since I’ve become such a lazy blogger lately, it’s a good reason to get back to posting!
1) hmmmmm….ok, this is going to be harder than I thought!
1) I’m not sure if I’ve shared this before, but I am all about new and exciting things. I hate when life gets boring and I am always “into” something new which usually wears off pretty quickly. Hence why my husband always teases me about “the idea of the month.” He used to be annoyed by it but now I think he just realizes that’s who I am and just lets me run with it. If it sticks, it sticks (like nursing) and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t.
2) I took piano lessons for 11 years and I was pretty good. However, I barely ever play anymore. I think it is because I never learned to read music very well. I memorized music so easily that once I learned how to play it (note by painful note) then I already had it memorized and rarely used the music anymore. So now, I have a hard time forcing myself to learn a new piece because it takes so long.
3) I also love to sing and was in the choir for almost as long as I took piano lessons. However, I quit after junior high because my choir director at school quit (I LOVED her) and I really didn’t like the new director). It was too bad because I really did like it and I think our choir was pretty darn good too!
4) My family thought I drowned once. My family took a Caribbean cruise when I was a senior in high school. Well, on one of the islands, we decided to go snorkeling on a remote beach. You had to swim/walk out really far (though it was shallow) before you could get to the reef area to see the fish. Well, I am not a big fan of fish and was really not all that into snorkeling. So after we all got out there and were swimming around for awhile I was bored of it and decided to swim in (snorkeling the whole way in with my clear blue snorkel). Unfortunately, I didn’t tell anyone I was swimming in. Whoops! So after a few minutes my family noticed I was gone and couldn’t see me swimming in. They were swimming all around looking for me and they thought I had drowned (we didn’t have lifejackets on). My dad actually sent my sister to swim in to shore to call the coast guard or whoever was in charge of that kind of thing on the island. In the meantime, I had finally made my way to the beach and was just leisurely laying in the sun. My sister made her way about halfway in and she spotted me on the beach. She stood up and was yelling at me that I was in BIG trouble! Obviously they were all relieved that I was ok but they were so mad that I put them through that. I felt SOOOO bad about it. I really didn’t mean to scare them like that. I figured they’d see me but obviously I was wrong. Even worse, my other sister practically drowned herself looking for me. She cut her foot open on coral and suffered the rest of the trip was a hurt foot. Needless to say, I felt really bad. We laugh about it now but it really wasn’t funny at the time.
5) I’m a roller coaster junkie! I LOVE them! I actually hated them for a few years when I was young, but on one trip with my family my middle sister convinced me to ride one with her and ever since I have been hooked! My favorite amusement park is Cedar Point in Ohio and they have the best ride ever. It’s called the Millenium Force and every time I ride it my eyes kinda blackout at the bottom of the first hill kinda like when you stand up too fast and get a head rush. SOOOO FUN!
6) I love gadgets and electronics. Usually it is the man of the household that wants the latest electronics but it’s the opposite in our house. I saved up my spending money (we each get a certain amount each month that we get to spend on whatever we want) to buy our first flat screen high def TV. I also have had 3 ipods and my husband has never had one. I bought a Wii with my spending money and requested a specific Wii game and a blue-ray DVD player for Christmas. He would be happy with our old 27 inch CRT TV from the late 90′s. No thanks! But it’s probably good that we balance each other out, otherwise we could potentially go crazy buying electronics.
7) There was a time in college that was 100% sure I was going to work for Campus Crusade for Christ at their headquarters. I felt like God wanted me to go into full time mission work but I was going to start by working for CCC over the summer at their headquarters. But when I told my parents about this revelation they were not thrilled about the idea. They wanted me to have a summer internship in Engineering instead. But obviously God has a reason for everything since my summer internship led me to getting a full time job after college at an automotive company where I eventually met my husband. So I am sorta glad that it all worked out the way it did. My life would be drastically different otherwise.
8) When I first started TTC, I went on Babycenter.com and met about 10 other girls who were all TTC at the same time. We eventually dwindled down to 7 and started a private Yahoo group where we post regularly to each other. We first “met” in 2006 and we are still friends to this day. We did all get together once (well, almost all of us) in St. Louis and had a blast. It is crazy to think I have been friends with them that long and we just happened to met on the internet!
9) I can barely write in cursive. I always hated it even back in school. I print very well, but my cursive stinks. It looks like a 4th grader wrote it! Ha ha! The only time I write in cursive is to sign my name. Thank goodness for typing because I am a pretty speedy typer!
10) I’m fresh out of ideas so it will have to be only 9 things!
P.S. Too funny. My 8 plus a ) turned into a smiley face with shades 8) ! Ha ha!
Working the Night Shift
So I started working midnights last week. It is actually 7pm to 7am. I don’t mind it so far. I have adjusted fairly easily already which I think is a good sign that my body can handle it. It’s funny, I can work all night, get home and sleep 8 hours (wake up around 4pm), and still be able to sleep fine all night. It is nice because I can switch back and forth easily, well, so far at least.
I have only 1 more month of orientation/training before I am on my own. By I am feeling like I will be ready by then.
Still no news on any adoption leads. But I am being patient, mostly! I called them last week to see if they had any leads. They said they had a few but that the girls were early in their pregnancies. So they may not even be 100% decided yet. So basically nobody’s looking at profiles at the moment.
At least I got an update though. I was just curious. I have my impatient moments here and there but I try and not let those feelings linger too long.
One exciting thing going on is that I am going to Germany for a week in October. My husband is being sent to Mainz for work and I am tagging along. His company is paying for a room anyway so I just had to buy the ticket and my food. I am pretty excited. I’ve never been to Europe before. Mike will has to work during the days but will have the evenings and weekend free. I also just found out Soapchick’s hubby may be sent there in October too, so I am trying to convince her to convince his work to send him there at the same time so I have a travel buddy! Oh my gosh, I can’t even imagine the fun we would have there together! Even if it is a long shot! Ha ha!
Nothing to report on the TTC attempts. I had a short cycle this month but at least I still did not have the spotting. In the back of my heart I still cannot help but hope for a miracle pregnancy. But I am still just praying most of all that the Lord’s will would be done.
Mike and I watched The Blind Side on Saturday night and I bawled at the end. What an amazing story. It seriously made me think about the possibility of adopting a teenager. I know not every teenage adopting will end up like that but i could see how much of a blessing an older child could be. I even searched through some photos of waiting children in Michigan. Even Mike looked for awhile too. But we are still just praying about it. God will lead us to what He wants for us as long as our hearts are open, and they definitely are.
My Summer Blogging Hiatus
Wow, has it really been a month and a half since I have blogged?
Yes, I guess it has! It’s funny really, but after a few weeks of not blogging, it became easier and easier not to write. It’s a good thing really, because normally when I write it is to vent and obviously I haven’t really needed to vent as of late. Hence my prolonged absence.
So lots has happened in the last six weeks although nothing too monumental I guess. I have officially been at my job almost two months and it is an understatement to say that I have learned a TON! It’s amazing what they don’t teach you in nursing school about critical care nursing. Now I know all about art lines, extra ventricular drainage systems, PICC lines and how interventional radiology is used to insert them (sometimes anyway), how to assist with/document conscious sedation procedures, what a high frequency ventilator is, how to titrate drips, and even what it’s like to have a patient on 10 IV pumps at a time and knowing what meds can and cannot go together and how to have it all hooked up correctly. Whew!
On the downside, I have seem some really sad cases. Major closed head injuries, ventilator dependent patients, second and third degree burns, and crush injuries involving spinal cord injury and paralysis. All these on innocent children involved in freak accidents or premature birth. I think it is going to make me a fiercely protective parent. I’ve realized that it only takes 1 freak accident to change your life forever. So many parents who had a normal life and then 5 seconds later their world became a nightmare. It is scary.
But on the upside, have had so many amazing experiences too. I have given as much as I have been able to those kids and their parents. Even in their dire circumstances, I try to do everything I can to cheer them up and get them to crack a smile. And even when I think I’m not getting through, (when the child or parent seems cold or will rarely even crack a smile) they will say or do something as they are walking out the door that shows you just how much it really did mean to them. That they really were listening and appreciated everything you said and did. And that feels AMAZING!
I LOVE my job! Seriously! And I am so grateful that God has brought me to this place. I never knew that it could feel this good to work! Even when it is hard waking up at 4:30 in the morning knowing you have a 12 hour day ahead, those moments make it worth it. I knew they would, but it is so nice to finally experience it.
I just have to sit here and let that sink in for a minute!
. . . . . . . . .
Here’s one cute little story (some details have been changed to protect confidentiality): I had a little patient who was 8. He was African-American and had severe burns to both hands which were wrapped and splinted so he had no use of them. I asked him if I could get him anything and he told me his nose itched. Awwww! So I scratched his nose for him. When I stopped I asked him if I got it. He said, “It’s straight.” So in my ignorance of slang I said, “what’s straight?” And then I was like….”oh, I get it! It’s straight! Got it!” He must have thought I was the biggest moron! Ha ha! He was one of the ones that I just felt like I couldn’t get through to at first. I think he barely said two words to me the entire time he was my patient for the day. Little did I know how much I DID get through to him when he was finally going home and he yelled my name across the unit and said that he wanted to say goodbye to me! I didn’t even know he knew my name honestly!
So obviously my job has definitely been a big part of why I haven’t been on here much. I finally have something that is providing me a lot of fulfillment so I don’t feel those moments of emptiness and longing nearly as often as I used to. And that makes the wait for adoption and TTC not nearly as hard. God certainly knew what He was doing, didn’t He!
On the adoption front, things have been pretty quiet. No news at all really! We let our agency know, back when the adoption fell through, that we didn’t really want to know if our profile was shown, but only if someone actually picked us. I wasn’t sure I wanted to feel any further potential rejection, at least for now. I mean, it’s really not important who doesn’t pick you, only who does! So I guess we are now just waiting for “the call.” I know it could be tomorrow, but it could also be two years from now! But I am really ok if it doesn’t happen right away. I am enjoying my job and I still have a lot of learning to do. So it is nice just being able to be content to wait for God’s timing.
As for TTC, things are progressing…I think anyway. CD 1 was on Sunday but this month I had barely ANY spotting beforehand. That is a miracle really. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed any at all except for the fact that with Creighton you are used to inspecting everything pretty closely! I think maybe the E. Coli infection was to blame for that and maybe the Cipro took care of it. I’m also still taking the T3 (30 mcg), Synthroid (50 mcg), B6 (500 mg ER), and Naltrexone (50 mg). I think all of it has really helped. The PMS is a million times better (you can even ask my husband!) and the thyroid meds I think are helping me not feel so cold all the time. I guess I will know better come winter if that is why, or if it is just because it is the summer (but even in the summer I usually freeze indoors due to AC and I haven’t noticed that nearly as much).
So all in all, things are going really well.
One other thing I am loving about this summer is my work schedule. I only work 3 days a week and I always have days off here and there. I’ve been taking advantage of that and doing fun stuff. I went to the wave pool a few weeks ago with my nephews, sister and mom. It was SOOOO fun and so nice to be able to do it on a weekday. I don’t even mind working weekends since it means I get to have even more days off during the week! (I am sure I will complain eventually about weekends but for now I am just enjoying it!).
I haven’t started working midnights yet since I’m still training, so I am sure that will be a big adjustment I will have to get used to. I start midnights at the end of August. It is the 7pm – 7:30am shift. So we will see how that goes. I’m just hoping I can find ways to stay awake at night and sleep during the day that work for me.
Ok, well I wrap this up now. I have to work on some thank you notes for some gifts I was given at the graduation party my in-laws through me a 2 weeks ago. I also need to get out of my pajamas…ha ha! Whoops, scratch that. My 6-year-old nephew just called and asked me if I could come over and play with them. Who can say no to that! Guess the thank-you’s will have to wait until tomorrow!
Have a wonderful day everyone!
